I will neither be disingenuous nor will I use ostentatious writing to convey my message; rather, I'll just go right to the point with simple plain language.
When certain things are taken out of context, they sound wrong. For example if someone took out of context some of the stuff I said to a teacher when angry, it would sound pretty bad. But once the circumstances are explained certain things are understandable.
I've shown for the past six years at Chinquapin that I have sense of propriety and that I am prudent. I've never really had any big problem with anyone. Usually, I'm pretty decorous with everyone, and I rarely get mad. Even when I get upset, I usually have great equanimity. I'm not even brittle because even under the pressure of anger I can usually keep my head cool. But I have a limit to how much I can take. Usually, I think before I say things because I'm not capricious. But I can get mad when people are unreasonable and stubborn. And when I loose my temper, it's not pretty.
Like this week, I know I was very upset, and lost my temper completely because a teacher gave us an arbitrary test. A teacher went off on us and gave us an extremely difficult test because many people didn't do the homework. He set us up to fail. I believe that, and will continue to sustain this claim. He was trying to punish people for not doing their work because he saw it as malfeasance. But the problem I have with this is that he punish me too, even though I did my work.
I understand he was frustrated, but I was and still am upset because I actually did my work. I don't like mediocrity, so I try to do the best work I can. I haven't been doing my best work lately because I'm just tired. I'm burned out, and I just need people (teachers) to understand that. I'm just tired of people telling me I'm not doing what I'm supposed to do when I'm really trying to get done the million things I have to do. The continuous reminder of everything I'm doing wrong is very discouraging and annoying.
I reached my limits. I was so upset because this teacher by giving us this extremely hard test will cause my GPA to go down probably significantly. I mean, I have worked my butt off for the last 4 years to have good grades for one teacher to come along and cause my grade to go down a lot. It's very upsetting, which is why I kind of went off on him. I was really frank with him, maybe a little too frank. But I needed to let him know how I felt. What made me even more angry is that he didn't care about what I had to say. He just seems not to care about us. It seems like he just wants to affect us negatively as much as he can, so he can get revenge.
I know I haven't acted so correctly myself. I was brusque and maybe even insolent when I was expressing my feelings, but I couldn't control it. It was frustrating to be talking to a rock. I'm trying to calm down, but I'm still very upset. I just hope this passes and that there will not be any enmity between us. For my part I was going to apologize, but today he just added more fuel to the fire. It will probably be some time before I can apologize sincerely.
See this is the kind of stuff that makes seniors want to leave. Certain people just create negative vibes, and I don't want to be in a toxic environment. I loved Chinquapin (I still do is just that I'm mad), and I thought I would never say this, but I'm ready to get out of here.
I hope that these essay doesn't seem a heinous one. I hope I didn't come out as pugnacious either, but if I did, I hope I get some understanding. I mean what is the expected reaction from someone who had to pay the price for something she didn't do. I felt like I was made reprehensible simply because the teacher believed I should. He thought I should be punished and blamed with all the rest even thought I did what I was supposed to do. I felt like I had been blamed for what others did. I want to also clarify that I do not intend to vilify the teacher that arouse my anger through this essay nor do I intend this to be a flagrant sign of any rebellion; I simply intend to vent through.
Thursday, April 15, 2010
Monday, April 12, 2010
Mexico and Family
When we emigrated to the United States, I was was really sad because I wanted to stay in Mexico. I liked living in proximity to my family, specially my cousins because we played all the time. We always had a good time being facetious with each other. When I moved to the U.S.A. everything changed because my communication with my cousins was truncated. I was really sad that I could no longer have fun with them. When I arrived to the U.S. , I had the impression right away that I would not be happy here, but I had no choice. There was such a huge disparity between the U.S. and Mexico; life was so different. I hoped my sadness would be transient; I hoped that with time it would pass away. But a year passed and my sadness persisted. I prayed to God, the omnipotent, to help me be happy. It seemed as if I was after happiness, and it just kept evading me. Happiness seemed to be elusive, but one day things changed. Things started to be more spontaneous and enjoyable. At school, I just went with the flow and everything didn't seem as compelling as before. things didn't seem than compelling. I enjoyed everything a lot more, and suddenly, I felt a lot happier than before. When I got to the U.S., things didn't seem very auspicious, but as time went on I realized that here I could make my dreams come true. I acquired the ability to understand the people here, and I assimilated into the American culture.
Sunday, April 11, 2010
Ipods
In this apology I want to justify the use of Ipods in school.
I wish that the faculty would sanction the use of ipods because listening to music helps me focus. Ipods are not at all pernicious as some people may say. Not, they are very safe and useful. My ipod doesn't only help me focus, but it also helps to mollify my nerves when I feel stressed. I wish that adults would had conception of how helpful an ipod can be to a student who is trying to focus. When we are exhausted and feel like we can't do anymore homework, we can listen to our ipod, and in a second, we can regain our vitality to do more homework. When teachers are obdurate about ipods or music in general, students are bound to try to listen to music surreptitiously. It's inevitable that when we are not allowed to do things that help us we will go and do them in a clandestine way/ Because of this, I wish the faculty would reconsider this rule. I wish they would be more open minded and would not be so obstinate in their refusal to the use of ipods. Times are changing. Ipos are contemporary. They are the modern thing, and as teenagers we love them, and have learned to have them as part of our daily lives. I wish the student and the faculty would be on the same page regarding this issue; I really wish we would be more amenable in many issues. I hope one day we can agree on something.
I wish that the faculty would sanction the use of ipods because listening to music helps me focus. Ipods are not at all pernicious as some people may say. Not, they are very safe and useful. My ipod doesn't only help me focus, but it also helps to mollify my nerves when I feel stressed. I wish that adults would had conception of how helpful an ipod can be to a student who is trying to focus. When we are exhausted and feel like we can't do anymore homework, we can listen to our ipod, and in a second, we can regain our vitality to do more homework. When teachers are obdurate about ipods or music in general, students are bound to try to listen to music surreptitiously. It's inevitable that when we are not allowed to do things that help us we will go and do them in a clandestine way/ Because of this, I wish the faculty would reconsider this rule. I wish they would be more open minded and would not be so obstinate in their refusal to the use of ipods. Times are changing. Ipos are contemporary. They are the modern thing, and as teenagers we love them, and have learned to have them as part of our daily lives. I wish the student and the faculty would be on the same page regarding this issue; I really wish we would be more amenable in many issues. I hope one day we can agree on something.
Homeless People
I have an innate desire to change the world, to help people. I wish I could give asylum to all those homeless people. I wish I could feed them all, not only physically but also spiritually. It saddens me to see people that think the issue of homelessness is inconsequential. When in fact, it should be one of the most important issues in America. These homeless people are human beings who have often endure many hardships. Although many of them seem to be completely capable of sustaining themselves, these people have a reason why they are were they are.
We often judge them too hard. When we see a homeless person wearing their hackneyed clothe, we become wary. When someone holds a signs saying, " I need to feed my family, we often think that they are spurious, and they are just trying to lie, so they can get some money for beer. When we see them standing there looking so staid, we think that they are trying to be astute by making us fall into their ruse to get us to give them money. But we think we are even more astute by not falling into the stratagem and ignoring them instead. We are malleable by the image "society" has given us of homeless people, without realizing that there is so much more to homeless people drugs and alcohol. They look so stoic to us, but we never know what's going on in their hearts. We tend to have an inveterate negative image about homeless people. Some people might even identify them as a group of fractious and incorrigible people. They might even see them as rancorous people and others even worst as putrid animals. We see them asking for money, and we disparage them among ourselves, instead of trying to do something to help them.
I lament our lack of modesty that stops us from helping those in need. It saddens me to see how serene we can be even when we hear that our brother screams for our help. We choose to ignore the screams. We never take the time to get to know the story behind the homeless person that we see standing in the corner every day. We never take the time to see beyond the obvious, to see what those people have in their hearts. We don't see the melancholy they are going through or the things they have gone through.
I hope on day we all learn to be more prudent, and help to end homelessness, instead of ignoring the problem. I hope one day Americans have a more comprehensive understanding about the importance of solving this issue.
We often judge them too hard. When we see a homeless person wearing their hackneyed clothe, we become wary. When someone holds a signs saying, " I need to feed my family, we often think that they are spurious, and they are just trying to lie, so they can get some money for beer. When we see them standing there looking so staid, we think that they are trying to be astute by making us fall into their ruse to get us to give them money. But we think we are even more astute by not falling into the stratagem and ignoring them instead. We are malleable by the image "society" has given us of homeless people, without realizing that there is so much more to homeless people drugs and alcohol. They look so stoic to us, but we never know what's going on in their hearts. We tend to have an inveterate negative image about homeless people. Some people might even identify them as a group of fractious and incorrigible people. They might even see them as rancorous people and others even worst as putrid animals. We see them asking for money, and we disparage them among ourselves, instead of trying to do something to help them.
I lament our lack of modesty that stops us from helping those in need. It saddens me to see how serene we can be even when we hear that our brother screams for our help. We choose to ignore the screams. We never take the time to get to know the story behind the homeless person that we see standing in the corner every day. We never take the time to see beyond the obvious, to see what those people have in their hearts. We don't see the melancholy they are going through or the things they have gone through.
I hope on day we all learn to be more prudent, and help to end homelessness, instead of ignoring the problem. I hope one day Americans have a more comprehensive understanding about the importance of solving this issue.
Essays
Our English teacher instructed us to write an analytical paper on the book we were reading. She wanted us to focus on on excerpt from the whole book that seemed to us to be the biggest phenomenon in the book and connect it to the rest of the book. She also wanted us to do research and connect it to our idea. This was probably one of the hardest assignment I've had to do because it was so hard to make a rational connection between on little part, the rest of the book, and the research. Plus we had to be meticulous with out research and make sure we didn't plagiarized. We also had to make sure we had reliable sources. If there seemed to be anything that discredited the authority of our sources, we couldn't use them. This paper had to be an eclectic paper, and I was so intimidated by it. I had to put together an incredibly well written essay that was somehow composed of different sources from my research and from the book.
I had ample worries about this paper, but the paramount concern was that I had no idea at all to write about. I was completely clueless. I often have copious notes about things I would like to talk about, but this time there was nothing. I hadn't understand half of the story because it was so filled with metonymy and oxymorons that I failed to comprehend. It all seem to me very contradictory and unknown. I mean some of the stuff they mentioned, I hadn't even heard before. The author also used a lot of periods that I hated so much because they were so complicated. The story was also filled with so much vocabulary that I had to look up a word in the lexicon every three second, which would make me loose the flow of the reading. On top of this she used to much abstraction and no concreteness in her story, and so many things just seemed out of place. Idea after idea was simply an anachronism. There just seemed to be no sense of sequence in the story. So as I finished the book, I realized I had to idea what it was about; hence, I had no idea what I was going to write about.
But with the help of my teacher, I was able to come to a conclusion, and form an idea. This was simply a nascent idea that eventually turned into a huge on, and resulted in my senior thesis.
I had ample worries about this paper, but the paramount concern was that I had no idea at all to write about. I was completely clueless. I often have copious notes about things I would like to talk about, but this time there was nothing. I hadn't understand half of the story because it was so filled with metonymy and oxymorons that I failed to comprehend. It all seem to me very contradictory and unknown. I mean some of the stuff they mentioned, I hadn't even heard before. The author also used a lot of periods that I hated so much because they were so complicated. The story was also filled with so much vocabulary that I had to look up a word in the lexicon every three second, which would make me loose the flow of the reading. On top of this she used to much abstraction and no concreteness in her story, and so many things just seemed out of place. Idea after idea was simply an anachronism. There just seemed to be no sense of sequence in the story. So as I finished the book, I realized I had to idea what it was about; hence, I had no idea what I was going to write about.
But with the help of my teacher, I was able to come to a conclusion, and form an idea. This was simply a nascent idea that eventually turned into a huge on, and resulted in my senior thesis.
I Will Succeed
Sometimes I feel alienated from my distant family because we rarely talk. They are in Mexico, so I don't see them often. They live a different life, which is the reason they don't understand why I study so much. Some of them are still dogmatic in their belief that women belong at home raising kids. Some of them don't believe there's a purpose to school, which is why no one in my family has even finished high school, and only a few have finished elementary school.
But I refuse to follow their believes. I'm a maverick; I'm an independent. I will diverge from the path all of my family has taken; I will go to college. Despite my family's dogmatic believes about education, I have no ambivalent feelings about my education. I only feel on things that is that getting an education is the best decision that I will make in my life.
I will no let my family's negative opinion about my dreams impede my progress. I will not let them impinge my education. I will not let anybody or anything get on the way. When people, even if it's my family, try to put me down, I won't let it happen. When I'm condemned for fighting for my dreams, I will not listen. I will ignore all the negative comments because I don't need to be worrying about things people say to subdue me; I will ignore all pejorative terms addressed at me. Yes, I will train myself to not let people's negativity have a deleterious effect on my spirit.
I will go to college and achieve great things in life because I simply refuse to have a mundane life. I will dare to go take risks and do things that no one else in my family has dared to do. My life will be exciting and fun. I learn new extraordinary things everyday. I will leave behind all that's prosaic and carry with me all fascinating things of life I encounter. With all those fascinating things in my heart, brain, and soul, I will go and reach for the greatest things in life. Oh no, my life will not be ponderous at all.
It won't be facile to achieve my goals, but I will do it. I will go out in the world and be intrepid. Despite what my family or others might say, I know I will be successful because I will continue with my dogged effort. I will continue with my assiduous ways because my mother taught me well the importance of being diligent.
I'm replete with hope about a better tomorrow for me and my family. I bet my premonition will come to being. Just wait and see.
But I refuse to follow their believes. I'm a maverick; I'm an independent. I will diverge from the path all of my family has taken; I will go to college. Despite my family's dogmatic believes about education, I have no ambivalent feelings about my education. I only feel on things that is that getting an education is the best decision that I will make in my life.
I will no let my family's negative opinion about my dreams impede my progress. I will not let them impinge my education. I will not let anybody or anything get on the way. When people, even if it's my family, try to put me down, I won't let it happen. When I'm condemned for fighting for my dreams, I will not listen. I will ignore all the negative comments because I don't need to be worrying about things people say to subdue me; I will ignore all pejorative terms addressed at me. Yes, I will train myself to not let people's negativity have a deleterious effect on my spirit.
I will go to college and achieve great things in life because I simply refuse to have a mundane life. I will dare to go take risks and do things that no one else in my family has dared to do. My life will be exciting and fun. I learn new extraordinary things everyday. I will leave behind all that's prosaic and carry with me all fascinating things of life I encounter. With all those fascinating things in my heart, brain, and soul, I will go and reach for the greatest things in life. Oh no, my life will not be ponderous at all.
It won't be facile to achieve my goals, but I will do it. I will go out in the world and be intrepid. Despite what my family or others might say, I know I will be successful because I will continue with my dogged effort. I will continue with my assiduous ways because my mother taught me well the importance of being diligent.
I'm replete with hope about a better tomorrow for me and my family. I bet my premonition will come to being. Just wait and see.
Not Insipid At All
http://profile.ak.fbcdn.net/object2/1240/47/s177688341247_1823.jpg
The classes I took in public school were insipid. I was bored almost all the time because they were just too uninteresting. I'm glad I came to Chinquapin because here, unlike at my old school, the classes are challenging and interesting.
Learn to Write!
https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgLkGwHCn2wiRRDKEv-wVv1qawXMtJeJUQSQWPm4wh8ykfvNy0BZVb3hCDZqOLjnk9cz82i0lTdH34oWXNT6iTp0bgDLLwuB0G9GANX4Bfd21M2rFEJY5acGbFT2L2CPBcTyDf3KzyrNbA/s1600/worst+writing+ever.JPGIt's too difficult to understand what you write. You need to improve your cryptic writing if you want me to understand it.
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